Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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