I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I love you. Go after that dick
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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