respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
