Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Randomize