somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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