this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Randomize
