We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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