Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Green mimosas i think yes
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
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