I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
