I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
But theres a keg here and me gusta
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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