My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
