i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
