bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
