u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
