so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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