How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
