Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
