I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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