what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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