the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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