How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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