Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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