she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I think people are normalizing furries
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
