I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
