I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
