Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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