Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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