He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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