She announced her abortion via fbk
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
