Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize