whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
