After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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