no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
