I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Randomize
