the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I think this conversation is over.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God