I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.