Texts From Last Night

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  (256): View more from Alabama

  every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now

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  (256): every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now http://tfl.nu/b8d3
  Replies (21) Good night (827) Bad night (2565)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.

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  (613): Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing. http://tfl.nu/hxx0
  Replies (37) Good night (4401) Bad night (728)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.

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  (678): he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy. http://tfl.nu/gv2k
  Replies (14) Good night (670) Bad night (5085)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.

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  (440): he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went. http://tfl.nu/izjf
  Replies (37) Good night (1269) Bad night (5784)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.

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  (508): Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now. http://tfl.nu/sqxt
  Replies (4) Good night (2279) Bad night (1361)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails

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  (205): Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails http://tfl.nu/p7in
  Replies (12) Good night (3471) Bad night (928)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental

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  (905): I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental http://tfl.nu/iday
  Replies (5) Good night (1841) Bad night (945)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.

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  (813): So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges. http://tfl.nu/t5l6
  Replies (6) Good night (1673) Bad night (488)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?

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  (712): You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you? http://tfl.nu/pa4x
  Replies (11) Good night (680) Bad night (1708)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.

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  (316): Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip. http://tfl.nu/kzaf
  Replies (2) Good night (1887) Bad night (502)
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  (760): View more from California

  I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?

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  (760): I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts? http://tfl.nu/drjd
  Replies (6) Good night (1066) Bad night (548)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....

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  (720): He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ.... http://tfl.nu/i5f3
  Replies (2) Good night (524) Bad night (808)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.

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  (517): Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win. http://tfl.nu/fots
  Replies (2) Good night (692) Bad night (294)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical

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  (651): Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical http://tfl.nu/03xj
  Replies (0) Good night (397) Bad night (231)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.

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  (404): I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week. http://tfl.nu/2i12
  Replies (6) Good night (522) Bad night (213)

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