i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....