god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
