Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
