This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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