was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just found puke in my bra..
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
