can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
