yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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