And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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