and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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