I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
