My nipple is on Facebook.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
