Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You were trust falling into bushes
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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