why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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