is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
