If i come over, it means nothing
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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