i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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