JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
