Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
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