with your own penis?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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