Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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