Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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