are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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