i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
