i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
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I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
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My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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