Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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