either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
