i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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