Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
