If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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