I hate all girls vehemently.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
