i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
