I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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