how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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