Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
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He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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