The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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