i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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