The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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